==================================================== I was sitting in my canoe, Thinking of you. ====================================================

==================================================== 1st loves & autographs And places we've been Broke your heart yesterday And I'd break it again You were on something When I came outside Meanwhile, we're out on life's highway Hitchin' rides People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Missile, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor! Anchor what?) I thought of you When the Band-Aids were off Gave you all your money back And I knew I was wrong When I woke up It was Halloween night Must've looked like Mardi Grass 'Cause no one there was right People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Missile, anchor! Whistle, anchor!) People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor! Anchor what?) 1st loves & autographs And places we've been Broke my heart yesterday And you'd break it again I was on something When you came outside You pulled a knife on me I cut you 3 times People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Missile, anchor! Pissile, anchor!) People on the road; (Whistle, anchor! Missile, anchor!) People goin' home; (Whistle, anchor! Whistle, anchor! Anchor what?) ====================================================

==================================================== I'm broke and ain't got a dime . . . I'm broke and ain't got a dime . . . Broke and ain't got a dime . . . Everybody gets in hard luck sometimes! I was standin' out on Congress St. one day . . . Standin' out on Congress St. one day . . . I was standin' out on Congress St. one day . . . One dime was all I had! Mama, don't treat your daughter mean . . . Mama, don't treat your daughter mean . . . Said mama, don't treat your daughter mean . . . You's the meanest woman a man's most ever seen! Do you want your friend to end up like Jesse James? Do you want your friend to end up like Jesse James? Do you want your friend to end up like Jesse James? Now it's hey, hey, hey, hey! One dime was all I had . . . One dime was all I had . . . One dime was all I had . . . Tryin' to be a sporty lad! I bought the morning news, lord . . . I bought the morning news . . . Bought that morning news . . . I bought a cigar, too! Now I'm broke and ain't got a dime. . . I'm broke and ain't got a dime . . . I'm broke and ain't got a dime . . . Everybody gets in hard luck sometimes! ====================================================

=================================================== "I ain't sweatin' it . . ." He told me as he tied Up his shoelace Even though I've got this girl Who's gonna have my child and she's Expecting any day Well, he spoke with confidence More than I've ever known Like he knew his fate But before he'd realize Exactly what it was It would be too late . . . As we both stepped outside Onto that darkened street Some gangsters caught our eyes Frank started talkin' shit And actin' like he was tough while Flashin' his gang signs Well, he wasn't serious But the situation soon was; One of them pulled a gun I heard the 3 gunshots And Frank's body hit the ground As I began to run home Because the East Coast Mother Fucker died tonight; Frankie got shot up in a gangster fight His body's lyin' cold beneath a dim streetlight; The East Coast Mother Fucker died tonight He tried to find a new direction And come to terms with what he'd done But he should've carried more protection Be it a condom or a gun But why'd he have to go? "Frankie!!" The East Coast Mother Fucker died tonight; Frankie got shot up in a gangster fight His body's lyin' cold beneath a dim streetlight; The East Coast Mother Fucker died tonight The East Coast Mother Fucker . . . The East Coast Mother Fucker . . . The East Coast Mother Fucker . . . The East Coast Mother Fucker . . . ===================================================

===================================================== Lean away the lighter side Of patience in a home Never one to testify As I am not my own Circumscribe & analyze The portrait of a son Fortified by vitamins And trophies that he's won If your ragged Ragged as a handsaw Then you know what it means. . . Corduroy out on the line The monuments of junk Little bags of Ritalin And records in my trunk Buy a pair of army boots And a blanket for the dead Understand the questions To those answers in your head And if your ragged Ragged as a handsaw Then you know what I mean. . . ===================================================

==================================================== Life's not lived in the city Lights don't live on the floor There's 10 people out to get you Pretty soon we're gonna need some more You might not know Uncle Crisco You prob'ly ain't seen Sister Shawn You put a telescope down in my pocket You could see all the money's gone Yeah, you'll see all the money gone So why not think about Elvis? You know I don't think about gloom Wonder why you're not thinkin' 'bout Elvis Baby, don't you know he's thinkin' 'bout you? Lights don't live in the city And life's not lived on all fours When somebody's out to meet you Don't you know he's gonna want some more? Do you know who shot Uncle Crisco? You might try asken de cow You got in one little fight with the Ocean So you think you're a big fish now? Yeah, you think you're the "Big Sip" now So why not think about Elvis? I know I don't think about gloom Wonder why you don't think about Elvis Honey, don't you know he's thinkin' 'bout you? Don't you know he's thinkin' 'bout . . . Can't believe I got it wrong again I was sure I would get it right this time And then You showed me that I can Forget her after all So why not think about Elvis? You know I don't think about gloom Wonder why you never think about Elvis Sugar, don't you know he cares about you? ====================================================

=================================================== I roll into Woodfin Not a dime to my name The parking lot's empty Ain't that a shame? I work for Bud Corbin And he gives me my pay But I go out & spend All the money I make Yes, it looks like Nothing's gonna Go my way . . . I guess I'll hang my head Next to this lonesome Weaverville Highway The sun is a-blazin' And my clothes are a mess This day seems much longer Than all of the rest But I'll keep on a-workin' And goin' through Hell 'Til Bud starts a-ringin' That 5 o'clock bell It looks like Nothing's gonna Go my way . . . And I say: "I guess I'll hang my head Next to this lonesome Weaverville Highway!" It looks like Nothing's gonna Go my way . . . I guess I'll hang my head Next to this lonesome Weaverville Highway ===================================================

==================================================== A little bit o' Coe A little bit o' Merle A little bit o' Jeff Gordon An' a little country girl A little bit o' cash An' a little bit o' drugs A little bit o' you A little bit o' me Why don't you asken de cow? I do not like Hank Williams, Jr. I don't like green eggs & ham I don't care about Conway Twitty 'Cause I'm startin' me a Reggae band A little bit o' North A little bit o' South Tell it to the judge Tell it to the mountain Asken de cow I do not like Hank Williams, Sr. I don't care about Johnny Cash You can tell ol' Waylon Jennings That I'll be glad to kiss his ass! A little bit o' you A little bit o' orange juice A little bit o' me A little bit o' cold beer Asken de cow . . . ====================================================

==================================================== There once was a man named Lan Who lived on the street in a van The van was too small But that's nothing at all Because now he lives in a can . . . Today's my birthday But I'm shopping for some mittens to Warm the hands that mold this man Into one who's more used to bending to the whim Of a lesbian I hear the many Feminist opinions But they're too esoteric for a man Like me to comprehend but she She's a lesbian What can I say about her now? But Tori Amos would be proud And carpet munching never made much sense Anyhow. . . Now I did not lose sleep When she chopped her hair off & dyed it green I just shook my head & crawled in bed Knowing well that I was soon to dream Of a lesbian Well there's not much left in it for me I've had to let her have her own way Heterosexuality is much preferred To being gay but she She's a lesbian And I bet her girlfriend's not much less She's better off with her I guess She's down a man but now she'll have Twice the PMS . . . ==================================================

==================================================== I can see you or me Lookin' out for the apple tree back home We'd sit and watch it grow Make you laugh; you make me choke You're the wheel & I'm the spoke So let's get it on a roll . . . I don't know if it's only for sleep I don't know if it's all meant to be I don't know if I'm only countin' sheep But I'm sure when you're dead or old You'll remember me I can see you or me Lookin' out for the orange tree back home Now that you're alone Someone laugh; you tell a joke You're the wheel & I'm the spokesperson That's out of control . . . Now I know it's only for sleep And I know it's all meant to be And I know I'll see ya in my dreams But I'm sure when I'm dead & old You'll remember me ====================================================

===================================================== You take a sip of Coke; It's Cherry Coke . . . You take a sip of Pepsi; It's Pepsi Twist . . . You take a swig of Sprite It's Sprite Remix . . . You take a swig of Mountain Dew; Livewire . . . All these soft drinks are getting strange . . . There're too many flavors with too many names . . . But I do not need a straw So don't waste my time Just leave me to myself with my Diet Coke with . . . What you think is Coke Might be Cherry Coke And what you think is Pepsi Might be Pepsi Twist What you think is Sprite Might be Sprite Remix (Aruba Jam) And what you think is Mountain Dew Might be Code Red All these soft drinks are getting strange . . . There're too many flavors with too many names . . . But I do not need a straw So don't waste your time Just leave me to myself in my Beverage Paradise I do not need your straw So don't waste my time Just leave me by myself with my Diet Coke with lime! ===================================================

=================================================== Orangish notion Plebians in motion I filled an ocean You pulled out the drain Numbers & fingers Pictures that linger I was a singer You wrote down my name All in . . . Streaks of henna Cosa buena Why not know what to say? Need not let a la cosa buena That you got get away From you . . . They were Las Vegas Nintendos & Segas Hasta luegas That I said insane Marlins & Orioles Mariners & Royals Something that spoils The people in planes All in . . . Streaks of henna La cosa buena I don't know what to say But never let a cosa buena That you got go away From you . . . ===================================================

==================================================== I could be your smoking gun If I had the might And I could be your left-hand glove If you had the right No matter what the case might be It will involve All these ambiguities to be resolved I could be your microphone If I had a voice And I could be your ticket home If you made the choice No matter what the outcome is It will entail The need for some strange sort of Logic to prevail The melody is slowly creeping Through the doubts left in my mind It seems that she has been keeping Well this secret for some time And now those wishful words So seldom heard Are brought forth in a song And by the way she sounds I know it won't be long, no The melody . . . I could be your long-lost man If I found my way And I could be your one-night stand If you'd let me stay No matter what the circumstance It will include Communication that's not Nearly as crude The melody is slowly creeping Through the doubts left in my mind It seems that she has been keeping Well this secret for some time But now those wishful words So seldom heard Are brought forth in a song And by the way she sounds I know it won't be long, no The melody . . . Melody . . . I may be worth a 2nd glance But I ain't worth a 2nd chance I'm forever failing to heed The remonstrance . . . ====================================================

=================================================== Bobby Joe bought an Airstream Took it on down to live the dream In a little place they call Shady Cove If Brother Boone would come to town All the folks there'd gather 'round But Gene & Lucy don't pay them no more But that's livin' Down at Shady Cove What's better? Well, I don't know Than just livin' Down at Shady Cove alone? Ray & Lynsey over there Will tell ya 'bout ObamaCare Well there goes Moon Dog Bubba, he's the man! Larry slides by to "joke a smoint" Beanie can't get to the point And all a woman knows is a leg o' lamb And that's livin' Down at Shady Cove What's better? Shoot, I don't know Than just livin' Down at Shady Cove again? And Sweetie's my only friend . . . Shirley drunk at the Tiki Hut Sold her bra for 35 bucks To the Lickalotypus that lives down by the lake Geno had a pink mohawk And Lucy scared the old folks off Well Brother Boone got cancelled Labor Day But that's livin' Down at Shady Cove What's better? Hell, I don't know Than not givin' a shit Down at Shady Cove alone? But I know Sweetie will walk me home . . . ===================================================

=================================================== Slip on out of those clothes Leave the burdens for yesterday You know, it's so damn cold I feel it's getting warmer Women like to say, "Hi, how are you doing?" And I reply, "I'm just fine, Do you wanna get moving?" I know of places we can go to be Alone & look at the stars I believe we're meant to be More than what we are I'm in love with you . . . Fer tonight I'm in love with you . . . Fer tonight Then I wake up . . . And you don't look as pretty Then I wake up . . . And you don't look as pretty ===================================================

==================================================== Sweet tooth soldier game Sugar daddy wants to play Sweet tooth soldier came Sugar daddy runs away Stiff jeans A plastic poker Queen eye For the stereo joker You're full of moonbeams And Listerine I always thought of How cool it would be . . . Sweet tooth soldier came Sugar daddy runs away Sweet tooth soldier game Sugar daddy wants to play Stiff jeans A metal poker Queen eye For the stereo choker You're full of moonbeams And Listerine I always thought of How weird it would be . . . Sweet tooth soldier game Sugar daddy wants to play Sweet tooth soldier came Sugar daddy runs away It takes a little bit of wisdom To admit you're a horse It takes a whole lot of knowledge To convey your remorse I sent a letter in the mail And it got to you soon You sent it back to me the next day And it was a full moon Sweet tooth soldier game Sugar daddy wants to play Sweet tooth soldier came Sugar daddy runs away Stiff jeans A plastic poker Queen eye For the stereo (choker) She's full of moonbeams And Listerine I always thought of How cool it would be . . . Sweet tooth soldier came Sugar daddy wants to play Sweet tooth soldier game Sugar daddy runs away ====================================================