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Grandma

from Thank God by George Wagoner

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lyrics

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(Now I never wished nothing bad on nobody but . . .)

I can't wait 'til Grandma to dies
She's giving off those neurotic vibes
And it makes me want to drive railroad spikes into my eyes
Oh, I just can't wait 'til Grandma finally dies!

She's terrified of tunnels
She's always scared of bears
She watches Maury Povich all day in her rocking chair
She's caused her poor dog Jackson to lick off all his hair
She's been diagnosed with cancer but she never goes nowhere

I can't wait 'til Grandma to dies
Her nervous disposition is something I despise
She's the reason Robin Williams committed suicide
No, I just can't wait 'til Grandma finally dies!

She smokes 20 cigarettes a day
And 500 cigarettes an hour
That's almost 60 cigarettes a minute and she never takes a shower
But she got a spray-on tan so that Melecio would plow her
She never was too sweet, but now she's completely sour

Oh, I can't wait 'til Grandma dies
She's stressing me out with her paranoid replies
How long will it take for her to realize
That we all can't wait for her to finally die?!

Now some time has gone by since I first wrote this song
And as you've probably guessed dear ol' Grandma's dead and gone
You might think I'd be happy now but there's still something wrong
And it's worse than I suspected because she's been there all along

Now I can't wait for Mommy to DIE!!!

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credits

from Thank God, released December 4, 2014
~Written & Composed by George Ǝ. Wagoner

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George Brown Asheville, North Carolina

Judæn Matchmakers: "It's not who we are, it's what we do."

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