Well, I left Kentucky back in '49
And went to Detroit workin' on a 'sembly line
The first year they had me puttin' wheels on Cadillacs
Now every day I'd watch them beauties roll by
And sometimes I'd just hang my head & cry
'Cause I always wanted me one that was long & black
So one day I devised myself a plan
That should be the envy of most any man;
I'd sneak it outta there in a lunchbox in my hand
Now gettin' caught meant gettin' fired
But I figured I'd have it all by the time I retired;
I'd have me a car worth at least a hundred grand
And I'd get it one piece at a time
And it wouldn't cost me a dime
You'll know it's me when I come through your town
I'm gonna ride around in style
I'm gonna drive everybody wild
'Cause I'll have the only one there is around
So the very next day when I punched in
With my big lunchbox & with help from my friends
I left that day with a lunchbox full of gears
Now, I never considered myself a thief
But GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years
The first day I got me a fuel pump
And the next day I got me an engine & a trunk
Then I got me the transmission & all the chrome
The little things I got in my big lunchbox
Like nuts & bolts & all four shocks
But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's mobile home
Now, up to now my plan went all right
'Til we tried to put it all together one night
Well that's when we noticed
That something was definitely wrong . . .
The trans-a-mission was a '53
And the motor turned out to be a '73
And when we tried to put in the bolts all the holes were gone!
So we drilled it out so that it would fit
And with a little bit of help from my A-daptor kit
We had that engine runnin' just like a song . . .
Now the headlights they was another sight
We had two on the left & one on the right
But when we pulled out the switch all three of 'em come on
The back end looked kinda funny too
But we put it all together & when we got through
Well, that's when we noticed that we only had one tail-fin
About that time my wife walked out
And I could see in her eyes that she had her doubts
But she opened the door and said, "Honey, take me for a spin!"
So we got in the car just to get the tags
And I headed a right on down main drag
I could hear the people laughin' for blocks around
But up there at the courthouse they didn't laugh
'Cause to type it up it took the whole staff
And when they got through the title weighed sixty pounds
Well I got it one piece at a time
And it didn't cost me a dime
You'll know it's me when I come through your town
I'm gonna ride around in style
I'm gonna drive everybody wild
'Cause I'll have the only one there is around
(Spoken) Ugh . . . RED RYDER
This is the COTTON MOUTH
In the PSYCHO-BILLY CADILLAC Come on
Uh . . . This is the COTTON MOUTH
And negatory on the cost of this mow-chine there RED RYDER
You might say I went right on up to the factory
And picked it up . . . it's cheaper that way
